I am working on reversing my fortunes. Throughout much of my life I have struggled with negative thinking. This mostly concerns myself, but has naturally overflowed into the way I have dealt with people and work situations. I realized at a fairly young age that this was an issue and the began the process of letting go of the negative, but this is not an easy thing to abandon all at once. Changes have come bit by bit for me, sometimes one negative thought at a time, and some victories have been long in coming.
Recently I was lying in bed grieving the mistakes I had made at my last job. Understand that I loved my job as office administrator, and I worked hard to do things well for a rapidly expanding non-profit organization, but my negative thinking got the best of me some days. This affected work relationships and decisions and three and a half years later I was till losing sleep over my shortcomings.
This particular night a long overdue light came on in my understanding. I had done a lot of good work for that organization. I adapted. I grew. I had done many things well and a few things not as well as I could have. It was long past time to reject my negative thinking and embrace all that I had done well, and I committed myself to doing just that.
It was a victory that should have come about 3 years ago, but I am grateful for it, late as it may be. I also know that my future is brighter because I refuse to let the past eat me up any more.